This post is part of the EVE Blog Banter, a monthly EVE Online blogging extravaganza created by CrazyKinux. Any questions about the EVE Blog Banter should be directed to him. The topic of this special installment is: "Why do you love EVE Online so much?"
"Enemy ships in sector 37!"
When it's the nineteeen-eighties, and you take a kid, of the male brand, not one of those pink-wearing doll-scolding Muggles, a regular kid, around 9 or 10 for example, and you give him access to a TV set in the Western world, sometimes, things happen. Marvelous things. Space ships appear on the black and white screen. Some of them huge, bulbous "star cruisers" crewed by a fish-like alien race. Some of them nimble fighters ready to unleash their vengeful payload upon that-which-is-not-a-moon, the ultimate vessel of evil in the galaxy (not speaking about SirMolle)... But we all know it's a trap. It's the eighties and the kid watches the final battle above the Death Star in the Return of the Jedi and, then, there is no return to Earth, the moment has defined him, the sky is now where the game begins.
I already knew what spaceships were
A long time ago, before they began selling internet spaceships, merchants used to sell motorbike toys, able to cross the span of a small table with their pretend motor. I must have been a solid 5 or 6 back then, and I had such a bike, for which I remember manifesting only mild interest. At school, I had a friend who had something much better up his sleeve. This enterprising fellow was building himself a space ship.
Now, any five-year old engineer will confirm to you a space ship takes time and effort to assemble. And what good are friends for if not to lend a hand to such endeavors? While not up to date about the latest developments in spaceship-building technology, I was aware that space ships were made of pieces of metal and where do you find pieces of metal? In motorbike toys, that's where. I decided to sacrifice mine in order to win myself a spot in my friend's space ship and I managed to extract some sort of a thin rod, obviously the core component of any man-made technology.
When my friend invited me to his place, I was conceivably excited. Perhaps would I be able to go with him on a test flight above the city? I kind of remember that he was appreciative of my offering of the rod, but told me the space ship's structure, while well on its way to completion, in the other room just behind the door, was not yet open to viewing. He would finish it later. I left his house with a sense of regret because I would have to wait a few more days before being able to co-pilot our saucer. Will you believe what happened next? The bastard did not mention the ship again, and I assume he has left the planet without me.
Flash forward
Elitist jerk : "Lose the stabs"
Gabriel DiCozza : "[random smack]"
Random Local passerby : "[witty retort]"
My friend left in a space ship and all I got was this lousy massively multiplayer game, Eve Online. Sometimes, holy shit lag is spiking, and the logs they show nothing. Sometimes, the magic kicks back in, and I am back to the battlefield above Endor. Rarely, I get a Proustian whiff of eternity, I switch the music back on, and it's like a shot of pleasure, I remember what it was like to be a noob in 1.0 and how fun the game was, how happy a child I was, when flying a space ship never seemed so close.
Check other Eve Blog Banter articles on the same topic.
Gilles de Rais in the Lake of Fire 7
Turns 1-7
Turns 8-14
Turns 15-21
Turns 22-28
Turns 29-35
Turns 36-42
Turn 43 - The Fury of God
The intervention of the angels might prove enough to whack Asmodeus out of dominance... or it might not. Apparently, the archfiend's legions are very resilient and were able to survive a first confrontation. The Hammers of Hell have been decimated, however, and would not survive a second assault.
Gilles decides to observe the situation while amassing armies. He bids on the Sisters of Sorrow and the Throne of Skulls.
Turn 44 - Paimon attacked by the Tyrant of Heaven
The slaves of God are on a rampage. The dreadful Legion of the Maw has been destroyed in its entirety. Gilles begins to wonder if he could pull out a military victory. If Asmodeus and Paimon are subdued by the Tyrant of Heaven, he could potentially attack Pandemonium and hold it long enough.
In the meantime, Gilles orders the Sisters of Sorrow to a defensive position southeast of his palace.
Gilles would like to give the Throne of Skulls to his own Slaves, so that Eligos could use its power, but Gilles's demons are not powerful enough to handle such an artifact. He stores it in his secret vault, waiting for the proper time to use it. Then he notices that the praetor Valac could prove valuable to lead the Slaves and he decides to bid on him.
Asmodeus lost one Canton to the burning swords of the angels and Gilles de Rais still wishes to keep the option of becoming the Power behind his Throne. He then decides to hurl an insult against Sitri, hoping that the archfiend will react and invade his territory.
Finally, I decide to increase Gilles's Cunning and Wickedness from 0 to 1.
Turn 45 - Eligos recalled to the Vault
Gilles asks Duke Eligos to leave the Slaves and come back to him for debriefing. Scouts have spotted the angels in Sitri's territory, on their way to the Gardens of Infernal Delight, and Gilles does not wish to lose his oldest champion. Unfortunately, he does not expect Sitri to fall to the bait now that angels are roaming his land.
Turn 46 - Demise of the Hell Blades
Sitri's Hell Blades did not even scratch the blazing armors of the angelic host, which still threatens to wreak havoc on the Slaves of Gilles de Rais. But Duke Eligos is safe!
Unsurprisingly, Sitri bowed before Gilles's insult. Too bad. Angry at this, Gilles demands tribute from Sitri.
Now, much depends on the direction the angels will choose to continue their vendetta against the Powers of Hell.
Gilles de Rais gives the Manual of Defense and the Manual of Infernal to Eligos, his most loyal servant. This way, if he ever needs a champion for single combat, he will have a decent fighter. He also bids on the Veil of Smoke, a combat manuscript available in the Bazaar.
I decide to increase again Gilles's Cunning and Wickedness, from 1 to 2. I have the souls and the time, so why not?
Turn 47 - The Aether of the Abyss
This time, Murmur seems to be the focus of the angelic attention. Hmm, let's insult Asmodeus and see how he reacts. I give the Veil of Smoke to Eligos to protect him if he ever needs to enter an arena.
Turn 48 - Valac becomes the new leader of the Slaves
The angels are reasonably far away. Gilles de Rais sends Valac to lead his army and prepare the way for the return of Duke Eligos. I increase the archfiend Martial Skill from 3 to 4.
Turn 49 - Asmodeus bullied
Gilles de Rais had forgotten that only one praetor may lead a legion. Valac cannot help Eligos... Gilles recalls Valac and ponders his next move, aware that 13 Conclave Tokens out of 20 have been revealed, and that the Plan B, codenamed "Operation Pandemonium", needs to be carefully prepared.
For this reason, and because he is filthy rich, Gilles de Rais decides to acquire the Puzzle Cube, a relic which allows for instant travel throughout Hell. With it, if he so decides, he will be able to launch sudden strikes against distant enemies and places of power. He also bids on the last missing tome of the Rite of Infernal Awe, offering extra tribute of two souls and nine flames of hellfire to the seller in the Bazaar in order to secure the deal.
The angels keep destroying the armies of Hell, much to the satisfaction of Gilles, who hopes to be able to seize Pandemonium without much opposition if he needs to.
The officials in Pandemonium share news of the Prestige of every archfiend: Asmodeus 200, Paimon 157, Murmur 80, Sitri 79, Gilles de Rais 69 and Lilith 37.
To be continued...
Turns 8-14
Turns 15-21
Turns 22-28
Turns 29-35
Turns 36-42
Turn 43 - The Fury of God
The intervention of the angels might prove enough to whack Asmodeus out of dominance... or it might not. Apparently, the archfiend's legions are very resilient and were able to survive a first confrontation. The Hammers of Hell have been decimated, however, and would not survive a second assault.
Gilles decides to observe the situation while amassing armies. He bids on the Sisters of Sorrow and the Throne of Skulls.
Turn 44 - Paimon attacked by the Tyrant of Heaven
The slaves of God are on a rampage. The dreadful Legion of the Maw has been destroyed in its entirety. Gilles begins to wonder if he could pull out a military victory. If Asmodeus and Paimon are subdued by the Tyrant of Heaven, he could potentially attack Pandemonium and hold it long enough.
In the meantime, Gilles orders the Sisters of Sorrow to a defensive position southeast of his palace.
Gilles would like to give the Throne of Skulls to his own Slaves, so that Eligos could use its power, but Gilles's demons are not powerful enough to handle such an artifact. He stores it in his secret vault, waiting for the proper time to use it. Then he notices that the praetor Valac could prove valuable to lead the Slaves and he decides to bid on him.
Asmodeus lost one Canton to the burning swords of the angels and Gilles de Rais still wishes to keep the option of becoming the Power behind his Throne. He then decides to hurl an insult against Sitri, hoping that the archfiend will react and invade his territory.Finally, I decide to increase Gilles's Cunning and Wickedness from 0 to 1.
Turn 45 - Eligos recalled to the Vault
Gilles asks Duke Eligos to leave the Slaves and come back to him for debriefing. Scouts have spotted the angels in Sitri's territory, on their way to the Gardens of Infernal Delight, and Gilles does not wish to lose his oldest champion. Unfortunately, he does not expect Sitri to fall to the bait now that angels are roaming his land.
Turn 46 - Demise of the Hell Blades
Sitri's Hell Blades did not even scratch the blazing armors of the angelic host, which still threatens to wreak havoc on the Slaves of Gilles de Rais. But Duke Eligos is safe!
Unsurprisingly, Sitri bowed before Gilles's insult. Too bad. Angry at this, Gilles demands tribute from Sitri.Now, much depends on the direction the angels will choose to continue their vendetta against the Powers of Hell.
Gilles de Rais gives the Manual of Defense and the Manual of Infernal to Eligos, his most loyal servant. This way, if he ever needs a champion for single combat, he will have a decent fighter. He also bids on the Veil of Smoke, a combat manuscript available in the Bazaar.
I decide to increase again Gilles's Cunning and Wickedness, from 1 to 2. I have the souls and the time, so why not?
Turn 47 - The Aether of the Abyss
This time, Murmur seems to be the focus of the angelic attention. Hmm, let's insult Asmodeus and see how he reacts. I give the Veil of Smoke to Eligos to protect him if he ever needs to enter an arena.
Turn 48 - Valac becomes the new leader of the Slaves
The angels are reasonably far away. Gilles de Rais sends Valac to lead his army and prepare the way for the return of Duke Eligos. I increase the archfiend Martial Skill from 3 to 4.
Turn 49 - Asmodeus bulliedGilles de Rais had forgotten that only one praetor may lead a legion. Valac cannot help Eligos... Gilles recalls Valac and ponders his next move, aware that 13 Conclave Tokens out of 20 have been revealed, and that the Plan B, codenamed "Operation Pandemonium", needs to be carefully prepared.
For this reason, and because he is filthy rich, Gilles de Rais decides to acquire the Puzzle Cube, a relic which allows for instant travel throughout Hell. With it, if he so decides, he will be able to launch sudden strikes against distant enemies and places of power. He also bids on the last missing tome of the Rite of Infernal Awe, offering extra tribute of two souls and nine flames of hellfire to the seller in the Bazaar in order to secure the deal.
The angels keep destroying the armies of Hell, much to the satisfaction of Gilles, who hopes to be able to seize Pandemonium without much opposition if he needs to.The officials in Pandemonium share news of the Prestige of every archfiend: Asmodeus 200, Paimon 157, Murmur 80, Sitri 79, Gilles de Rais 69 and Lilith 37.
To be continued...
Gilles de Rais in the Lake of Fire 6
Turns 1-7
Turns 8-14
Turns 15-21
Turns 22-28
Turns 29-35
Turn 36 - Mine, the Book of Enoch
"Asmodeus, what a pussy!" thinks Gilles de Rais. He thinks again "but a wise pussy".
More importantly, the Book of Enoch now belongs to Gilles de Rais! The Black Singularity, the time when Gilles's power will allow him to gain snowballing influence over the kingdom of Hell, has never been as close.
Ironically, the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, which has the exact same properties as the Book of Enoch, is now available in the Bazaar and, once again, Gilles needs more tribute before he can hope to scoop it. He decides to place the Book of Enoch in his Stronghold and to demand tribute twice, hoping to score three souls and as many drops of pure darkness in the process.
Turn 37 - More souls for the shopping spree
Gilles needs three more souls, only three, before he can grab the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, a powerful relic he does not want the other archfiends to possess. He focuses all his efforts on this task.
Turn 38 - Refining souls
Gilles refines his tribute of souls to be able to put everything in the rituals coffins he hopes to send soon to the Bazaar in exchange for the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum. He also performs twice the ancient ritual called Demand of Supplication (a mistake, as one was probably enough).
Turn 39 - A late bid
At last, Gilles bids on the relic, sweetening the deal with three drops of ichor.
Gilles bids on the first volume of the Rite of Flesh Rapture, rumored to be able to improve the very Cunning of an archfiend. He also bids on the second volume of Tentacle Rapture and the single volume of Mind Burn, both grimoires of combat magic.
Turn 40 - Mine, the Book With The Long Title
The Pseudomonarchia Daemonum is immediately placed within the inner vault of the Stronghold. Gilles offers two extra doses of hellfire for the first volume of the Machine of Vengeance. While visiting the Bazaar, Gilles decides to buy himself a new army to protect his Stronghold. He bids on the Iron Maidens, adding two extra ichor to impress their sergeant.
Nothing much happens in Hell, but for the usual frontier provocations against Asmodeus. This time, Sitri tries to bully him. I expect Asmodeus to submit wisely to the threat.
Turn 41 - Asmodeus the Coward
Of course he did.
Gilles performs another Demand of Supplication and sends his armies in search of tribute.
An interesting situation has developed north and west of the Land of Gilles de Rais: a standoff between four armies belonging to Paimon and Asmodeus. Hopefully, there will be war soon.
Turn 42 - War?
Of course, there will be war. But it will not come the way everybody is expecting it from. The archfiends may have forgotten the One Above, but He has not forgotten them, and He will send an army to chastise them, and the one who will open the doors to the vengeful angels shall be... Gilles de Rais, using old connections from the time he was walking in the world!
I decide to increase Gilles's Martial Skill from 2 to 3.
Prestige at the end of Turn 42: Asmodeus 167, Paimon 122, Sitri 65, Murmur 61, Gilles de Rais 42, Lilith 30. Hmmm, Paimon has only 25 Cantons to my 16; he can not become my Blood Lord; not yet.
To be continued...
Turns 8-14
Turns 15-21
Turns 22-28
Turns 29-35
Turn 36 - Mine, the Book of Enoch
"Asmodeus, what a pussy!" thinks Gilles de Rais. He thinks again "but a wise pussy".
More importantly, the Book of Enoch now belongs to Gilles de Rais! The Black Singularity, the time when Gilles's power will allow him to gain snowballing influence over the kingdom of Hell, has never been as close.Ironically, the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, which has the exact same properties as the Book of Enoch, is now available in the Bazaar and, once again, Gilles needs more tribute before he can hope to scoop it. He decides to place the Book of Enoch in his Stronghold and to demand tribute twice, hoping to score three souls and as many drops of pure darkness in the process.
Turn 37 - More souls for the shopping spree
Gilles needs three more souls, only three, before he can grab the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, a powerful relic he does not want the other archfiends to possess. He focuses all his efforts on this task.
Turn 38 - Refining souls
Gilles refines his tribute of souls to be able to put everything in the rituals coffins he hopes to send soon to the Bazaar in exchange for the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum. He also performs twice the ancient ritual called Demand of Supplication (a mistake, as one was probably enough).
Turn 39 - A late bid
At last, Gilles bids on the relic, sweetening the deal with three drops of ichor.
Gilles bids on the first volume of the Rite of Flesh Rapture, rumored to be able to improve the very Cunning of an archfiend. He also bids on the second volume of Tentacle Rapture and the single volume of Mind Burn, both grimoires of combat magic.
Turn 40 - Mine, the Book With The Long Title
The Pseudomonarchia Daemonum is immediately placed within the inner vault of the Stronghold. Gilles offers two extra doses of hellfire for the first volume of the Machine of Vengeance. While visiting the Bazaar, Gilles decides to buy himself a new army to protect his Stronghold. He bids on the Iron Maidens, adding two extra ichor to impress their sergeant.
Nothing much happens in Hell, but for the usual frontier provocations against Asmodeus. This time, Sitri tries to bully him. I expect Asmodeus to submit wisely to the threat.
Turn 41 - Asmodeus the Coward
Of course he did.
Gilles performs another Demand of Supplication and sends his armies in search of tribute.An interesting situation has developed north and west of the Land of Gilles de Rais: a standoff between four armies belonging to Paimon and Asmodeus. Hopefully, there will be war soon.
Turn 42 - War?
Of course, there will be war. But it will not come the way everybody is expecting it from. The archfiends may have forgotten the One Above, but He has not forgotten them, and He will send an army to chastise them, and the one who will open the doors to the vengeful angels shall be... Gilles de Rais, using old connections from the time he was walking in the world!
I decide to increase Gilles's Martial Skill from 2 to 3.Prestige at the end of Turn 42: Asmodeus 167, Paimon 122, Sitri 65, Murmur 61, Gilles de Rais 42, Lilith 30. Hmmm, Paimon has only 25 Cantons to my 16; he can not become my Blood Lord; not yet.
To be continued...
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